


We Catch Our Breath.

by Lopaka_Tanu



Category: Terminator
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-18
Updated: 2010-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-13 18:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/140336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lopaka_Tanu/pseuds/Lopaka_Tanu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's been running, outpacing the world with every step.  So why did she stop now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Catch Our Breath.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [waketosleep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/waketosleep/gifts).



"The date is May, twenty-seventh, nineteen, eighty-four. My name is Sarah Connor and I no longer know what's real anymore. It's been thirteen days since I was certain of anything. The last thing I believed with any conviction was that I was going to die."

Pausing, she lowered the microphone to wipe at her burning eyes. As she moved, the smell of her clothes wafted up to her nostrils. The stench of sweat and cigarettes was overpowering. With a wince, she cleared her throat.

"I've spent the last two weeks on the road. There's barely any time for sleep, every siren I hear, every wail of a baby makes me jerk awake." She swallowed, staring off in the distance. What had they gotten her into?

The room was dingy, which was fitting. It matched her very appearance. Her hair had definitely seen better days. Her eyes darted down, barely able to focus on her nails. They were chipped and only flakes remained of the polish she had once used.

Sarah frowned. How long had it been since she last washed her hands? For that matter, when was the last time she had had a bath?

Her shifty gaze glanced to the tape recorder. The wheels were turning and she realized it was still on. She cleared her throat. "The man, Kyle Reese, he seemed so sane at the time. Everything he said felt real to me when I faced the overwhelming proof in the form of the Terminator. Now, I find myself questioning if any of it even really happened."

Lowering her chin, she sniffed at the air. Her head had been hurting for the past hour and it was taking its toll on her thoughts. "Am I delusional? That's certainly the safer option, a scenario where I've had a psychotic break from reality is preferable at this point. Yet, as much as I want to deny what happened, every fiber of my being screams at me to rail against it. I honestly can't say for sure."

The tape deck clacked as the keys popped up.

Confused, she looked to it once more. It had stopped recording. She frowned. What had happened? Looking through the clear window on the case, she realized the tape had come to an end.

Exhaustion stung at her eyes. This time she didn't fight it and let the tears fall. Hearing the tape deck open, she glanced up from her hands to the nurse.

Her nimble fingers were already pulling out the tape and placing a new one in. "Did you want to continue?" After closing the machine, she stared at Sarah expectantly. "We can stop for the day if you wish to rest, maybe even take a shower.

Sarah had to pause for a few moments to let her words sink in. Blinking up at the woman, she realized what the nurse was offering. After a few more seconds, she nodded once. "Yes. I'd like to shower, change if you got something for me to wear."

The woman nodded. "We can manage something for you."

Rising up from the table, Sarah nodded again. She wasn't sure why, she wasn't even sure if she was really here. When the woman grabbed her elbow to help her up, she accepted the assistance without comment. Together they headed for the door.

Once they reached it, they had to wait for it to be buzzed open for them.

Exhausted, Sarah leaned more on the nurse with every step. Stepping out into the hall of the secure ward, she glanced towards the front office. The guard on duty watched her in return, but she ignored him. She had come here of her own volition, he was here to protect her.

She just had to keep telling herself that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rising with the sun was almost painful. Her eyes burned from lack of sleep even after a full night's rest. Sitting up in bed, she let the blankets pool around her waist. The predawn aurora cast the room in a pale red. It was a welcome change to the sterile white.

The urge to just sit there and stare out the window was strong. She felt fragile, almost to the point of shattering. Emotionally, Sarah knew that she wasn't ready to do much else. Rest had only increased her confusion. Now, she could clearly think through how crazy the entire thing sounded.

The thought that it might be true left her empty. Wrung out, she watched the sun slowly climb up over the horizon. It's rays turned the world a dusky orange. It felt so real, the heat rolling over her skin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sarah?"

Hearing her name jolted Sarah out of her daydream. Blinking, she glanced around in question and swallowed. "Yes?"

There were a circle of people watching her. Most seemed lucid enough to actually focus on her face. Of those, only a couple actually looked expectant.

They were all dressed in pale blue. It was a soft color designed to keep calm. Sarah once read a paper on that in a magazine while waiting to have her nails done with...

She felt her face go slack. Tears stung at her eyes. Dropping her chin, she used the wadded up tissue in her hand to carefully wipe at the corner of her eyes. Sucking in a painful breath, she sniffed. "Uh, what was the question again? I was distracted by something."

"It's quite all right." The woman three patients to her right spoke. She was dressed in a white coat, the only major distinction from the blue pajamas they all wore. "We're not here to judge. This isn't an interrogation room, we only wish to help."

"Yeah, I know that. I...get. That." She sucked in another shuddering breath. "There's just a lot on my mind."

Several people around her nodded. Most probably didn't even know why they were nodding.

She got the feeling they weren't even aware they were here physically. Clearing her throat, she tossed the tattered remains of her do over her shoulder and looked to the therapist. "The question?"

"I was simply asking if you wished to share with us today? This being your first time, it might be intimidating. If so, that's quite all right. We're all very patient here."

Sarah giggled. Shaking her head, she looked to the others for common understanding. All she got were a few confused expressions. "Patient. Patients."

More blank stares.

Feeling her cheeks flame, she dropped her gaze to her hands. They fidgeted for a moment before she shook her head. Reaching up, with the tissue, she wiped her nose. "No, I'd like to sit this one out."

"Okay. Maybe later." The woman sounded annoyingly cheerful.

It took all Sarah had not to roll her eyes. Her world had gone to hell two weeks ago, she had lost everything, humanity was counting down to doomsday, and this woman was acting like she was dealing with kindergartners! She wondered how this woman would handle herself with a machine from forty-five years in the future pointing a gun in her face. The thought of the woman calmly asking the terminator why it felt such negative urges sent her into near hysterics.

She didn't even realize that she had been uncontrollably sobbing until the sting of a needle in her side sent her drifting off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Someone was stroking her hair. Long fingers carded softly through her stringy locks.

Sighing, Sarah felt too weak to open her eyes. Seeing who they were didn't make a difference, the gesture itself was comforting enough. It was all that mattered to her at the moment.

A tiny chill made her shiver. Shifting in her blankets, she managed to work them higher over her shoulders. It was enough and she calmed down with another sigh, this one of pleasure.

"You have to remain strong," Kyle's voice whispered in her ear.

She nodded her understanding. The future depended upon her. Swallowing, she winced at her parched throat. After a moment, she frowned. It wasn't true. At least, not any more. "I can't."

The fingers slowed to stroke over her cheek too. "You have to try."

Pausing to take quick breaths, she coughed a little. "Nothing I try...will make...a difference." Her voice cracked from lack of use and moisture. Moaning, she curled deeper into her blankets.

"Why not?" He sounded confused more than hurt.

Not that she could blame him. It was a sentiment she had grown used to over the past couple weeks. She yawned, trying to come up with the strength to speak. "Because...it doesn't matter...any more. That's why...I'm here." Before he had the chance to question her further, she settled down enough to drift off once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 Months Later:

Sitting with the case in her lap, Sarah clutched the handle so tight that her knuckles turned white. Still, she smiled brilliantly at the man across his desk. He couldn't be let on to how fast her heart nervously beat. Everything depended upon this interview.

His bald head reflected the fluorescent lights through his combover as he read the papers. Turning them slowly, deliberately, he almost seemed to derive pleasure in dragging this out.

Far as she knew, he probably did. This was the man's job, his decisions determined people's futures on a daily basis. He probably took the position for the joy of controlling people's fates.

Sweat started to tingle her lower back. It had already made her pits and the backs of her knees itch. But she couldn't scratch them. Nervous acts were what parasites like that man fed on!

After he turned another page deliberately slowly, she shifted a little in her chair. It was almost imperceptible, but the man's hawk like eyes fixed on her in a heartbeat. Only sheer will power kept her from freezing up. Smiling slowly at the man, she cocked her head to the side. "Anything interesting?"

He 'hum'ed at her. With a sigh, he sat back. Then he closed the folder, laced his fingers together, and set them on top of it. Staring up at her, he blinked behind glasses that hadn't been fashion since the sixties. "Why do you feel I should decide in your favor?" His voice was slightly nasally, designed to illicit annoyance.

Yet, Sarah wasn't having any of it. She knew why she was here and she wasn't about to let a few tricks deter her. Back straight, she smiled at him more consciously. "This is my passion. Teaching is what I know I will be good at."

"Your history suggests none of this, Ms. Connor." The man steepled his fingers, taking on smug airs with his tiny grin. "In fact, I find no experience with children in your file at all."

"I know that, but it's why I am here." Sarah was proud of herself. She didn't crack or even so much as bat an eye. "I want to learn."

Leaning forward, he tried to stare her down. "Do you even want children?"

She felt the light leave her eyes. For the first time in the interview, she let her nerves show by looking down. "I was pregnant once." Her voice took on a hollow quality that matched her insides. "Maybe someday, when I'm ready to try again."

He exhaled softly through his nose. "I see." Leaning back made his chair groan.

Determined not to let him beat her, she raised her gaze again. She stared him defiantly in the eyes. "I am ready to do this and whatever it takes to make a better future. Being a teacher will be, in some small part, my contribution."

His only response was to snort. Opening her folder, he picked up his pen. Three quick strokes and then he closed it again. Holding the folder out to her, he quirked half a smirk at her. "We'll see about that in five years when they're pelting you with spit wads and chewed gum."

Reaching out with a forced steady hand, she accepted the folder. "Thank you, sir. I promise you won't regret this." She had to blink rapidly to keep the tears from falling.

"No," he agreed, "but you will."

 

THE END......................................

**Author's Note:**

> Slight Parallel Universe, a background of a scene in T2 where Sarah sees herself watching over children in a school yard, looking almost untouched by her experience with the Terminator. Based upon the recipient's wish: Sarah Connor with no John, possible AU.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of any part of the Terminator Franchise. This is purely fan made to enjoy freely, not for profit.


End file.
